Sometimes, Lent is “productive” from this first day. We pray more, we give more, we examine ourselves more. We choose wisely what to give up and what extra to do. Not only do we have the best of intentions, but we practice it to the closest thing to perfection on this side of heaven.
But of course, sometimes, Lent is a struggle. We want to pray more, but it never quite happens. Most of Lent passes us by before we remember we’re supposed to be using this holy season to prepare ourselves for the celebration of Easter. Our practice leaves much to be desired.
For me, this Lent was more of the latter. I spoke with Vanessa at great length about various practices and why I felt those things would help me prepare for Easter, but never settled on any of them, much less practice them well. Prayer did come, but I’d like to do it more.
Now, the season is nearly over.
The silver lining on this Lent-that-should-have-been-more is that it still brings the awareness that I’m far from where I should be. The need for Christ is all the more present. If I was already perfect, why would I need salvation? No, I need salvation. I need the healing of Christ. I need the love of God to touch me. I need.
By the accounts of this world, if I were to receive a report card on Easter Sunday, I would rather not look at my Lenten grade. The beauty of this grade report is that it is not permanent. I have the full glory of God before me and am able to ask for something quite amazing. Being able to ask and receive the forgiveness of God, being able to ask and receive the grace of God, being able to ask and receive faith. As we enter into these last days, my lack of fully entering into the season has reminded me of my need for the reason of the season–Jesus Christ.
Perhaps this Lent has been much more successful that what appeared at first glance.