Every backpack aimed for baseball should include fence hooks.

@dimensionmedia Who ever said “I wish I could watch my bills as a video”?

@carolynsonnek I’ve had to have one already. We don’t speak of such things.

How sick am I right now? Doing the dishes, I legit just got into an argument with my kitchen sink. The right side wasn’t clean, but it has one of…

It is really fun when you are on leave with your two-week old baby and you’re hit with the hardest cold/bringer-of-doom you can remember.

My bathroom scales sends me a weekly report. I haven’t opened one in years because there is no possible way it says anything besides “Yup, still fat!”